Movie night without a penny

Happened to go to Bombay Velvet movie in Luxe when my pocket is only with 17 rupees. No cash in ATM. No credit card. Just 17 rupees. Since booked through online, no problem for movie though


That's when I felt how it would be to survive without money. Started from office with 17 rupees. Had calculated everything in mind. 6 rupees for going. 10 for returning back since night service charges are little more.


Started waiting for bus. That's when all these green board, blue board, led light and ac buses came. No white board bus. Waited like 20 mins to get a white board bus. The crowd in the bus was like hell. I thought then 'How many people happen to be like me? That too I am like this for one single day, but its like this for many people for the whole 365 days' Boarded the bus in the footboard since it was getting late for the movie. Can't explain how it was really. Hands started paining like hell after 30 secs of hanging and had nothing in my mind except the thought of when next stop will come so that I can rest my hands. But have to bear the pain and can't show it in face since have to maintain the geth in front of the girls sitting before me 🙈


After half an hour of hell, landed in the heaven, obviously the bus stop. That's when I started to get an ache in the bottom of my stomach. My mind said it was due to hungriness but my heart doesn't want to accept it since it will increase the intensity of the feeling. So I didn't accept that fact and started concentrating my attention on other things. So I looked around. There was a bakery and a guy in front of it eating samosa. A petty shop and a guy eating banana. Then, I thought 'maybe you should have accepted what your mind said and had that little ache' It's because of these sightings of food my appetite increased involuntarily and had no other choice than to bear the pain.


After sometime I couldn't bear it so I thought of distracting myself to some other things. I kept on looking. All I could find was shops and people eating in them. I thought 'Isn't there any other important work for these guys other than eating? Damn'. So I stopped looking around and concentrated on the road. Buses with couples together. Bikes with couples together. Cars with couples together. And even, a cycle with a couple pushing it together. I know there are other people like kids, single guys and single girls, aged people etc. But, I don't know why. Normally, I  see single girls only. But today, really I can't find out why. I thought that the stomach pain was better than this.


But, I couldn't help it. Can't take my attention off that. So I started counting them. Took my phone and started noting them in QuickNotes app.  7 couples in buses (visible to me). 16 in bikes. 7 in cars. And that 1 in cycle. All these in a matter of 10 mins.


'Why not me?' I thought. I started to think about it. Maybe because I am afraid to be committed. Maybe because I am afraid of my MoM. Maybe because I am afraid that Love will kill my dream. Maybe because I am not worth for Love. It went on. That's when this thought arouse. 'Then why the hell you want to be like that huh?' Hmmmmm. It's because 'I am a guy. Simple as that'.


Now, as that Love-Thought-Process was over, I don't know what else to think and eventually started to feel the pain. Went to pani Puri shop. She, the owner,  gave me a look like 'what do you want to eat?' If its normal time, I would have said 'Kaalaan'. But now, I had to say Water. She gave me a look not a bad one though and said okay. I took in a jug and drank as much as I can.


While drinking this weird thought came to me. If you keep on drinking water you will feel okay and won't feel the pain. So I thought of ways for it. If I do it in this shop, I know she would give me that bad look and some bad words too. That's when this Centerfresh bubble gum (so that my saliva will go in constantly as water on chewing) and immediately the idea of remaining 1 rupee came to mind. Wow. How fast my mind is. I never calculated this much fast before. The pressure. It keeps you sharp and constantly thinking. A beautiful mind.


So, I went to a petty shop and got a centerfresh, tore the cover, took it out and started chewing it. Felt like it is working. My thoughts were distracted again. I thought of going inside the mall. Went in. It was very worse here compared to outside. Full of couples.


When I made way through the second floor could see the paper dosa served in Vasantha Bhavan. Could see the popcorn in a guy's hand. Could see people talking selfies. Thought of taking a selfie came through. But lost it, since selfie with only myself could be the last pain I would resort to on this day. So I dropped that idea, went to restroom and came out to find a sofa outside the theatre.


Seeing the sofa, I thought 'Its my stomach not the leg'. Anyhow I sat in the sofa. It was full of popcorns and pepsi before me in the food counters. Don't know what to do to distract my mind. So, I took my phone again and opened QuickNotes app again. I started writing how I felt all this whole time and that is what you have been reading here in this post.


One thing I learnt was 'there is nothing possible in this world without money. Only with a dream you can get nowhere'. As Will Smith says in 'Pursuit of Happiness', 'You got a dream, you got to protect it. Period'


Maybe, this could be a bad conclusion to this post but I can't help it. I am writing what all are coming into my mind and this is what my mind is determined with as a conclusion. So, please bear it. If you can't, comments section is there. Feel free to use it


It's 9.50 and charge is down to 17%. Time for the movie is up and need the battery to show the message in movie counter. And more importantly, I don't want to miss that feel of 'When the lights go out and the movie starts'. Will meet in next post. Bye.

Photos - What do they mean?

Nowadays, photos are widely used in Social media. To show how you look, what you do, what you eat and sometimes even how you feel. But, what do you think is the real purpose of photos? Some say they show happiness. Some say they are remembrance for those lovely moments they had. Some even say photos change things. Yeah maybe.


But, what photos really do according to me..they smile. They smile a little bit with that lips of yours going a little wide. And they go on smiling big, smiling with mouth open, smiling with wink of the eyes, smiling with tongues out, smiling with blush and it goes on to whatever kind of smile you can come up with. Those smiles remind you of the gravity of great moments you had then. Photos never cry unless you want them to be. Let’s not do that 


I can’t exactly say why I love photos that much. I just Love photos. There is a great joy in posing for photos and also in capturing photos. It depends on the people. People who want to pose just want to enjoy that moment and preserve it for future. People who Love to capture photos want to see others smile and enjoy that moment of people posing themselves crazily.


There are some people who love photos extremely. They keep on posing. Oh God! How could they come up with different poses in a split second? They then go on applying filters to it and finally comes the DP (The best part is this process repeats at least once a day with a rate of 1 DP a day). And the more interesting and creative thing is they somehow come up with a status which is in sync with their pic :P. I am not saying it’s weird or wrong. I just wanted to say it’s crazy and it’s good to be crazy 


Me. I love capturing photos than posing for it. I love that shy moment when people ask me to open the lens cap before taking photos. I Love that moment when my friend and me spend the whole night taking DPs for him. I love that moment when I open the lens cap and see that light coming through the lens. I love that moment when people fight playfully to showcase themselves attractive in the photos. I love that moment when I blur in and blur out to adjust the focus. I love that when people keep on asking me to send photos to them. And finally, I love that moment when I actually took a good looking photo :D


One of my friends keeps on asking me always ‘When you are going to give me a good DP?’ He was insisting that I should edit my photos. But, I don’t like my photos edited. I love them as they are. Dark or Light. Let them be. If it’s dark, then it’s because of the night..so let’s try enjoying the calm night prevailing in that photo. If it’s very much exposed to sun..let’s try enjoying the beauty of Sunlight in that photo. Let it be I would say.


Photos are really a remembrance of good times. On a lonely night with no one to blabber to, I would just keep scrolling my gallery. That’s when I would find that one tall guy who always takes selfies. That one person who always wide opens his/her mouth for every single photo. That one person who always positions him/her in center of the frame to get the attraction. That one person who always poses kind of cute with barring teeths..eeee. That one person who always stands behind calmly with just a smile. That one person who always stands as if he/she is not interested and looks away. That one unlucky person who always wants to give a good pose but never let by his/her friends to come front. So, he/she always end up with only part of their face visible from back. That two persons who always stand together for every photo. That group of friends who always comes up with weird and crazy poses. That big group of friends who fall on each other while trying to get a place for themselves. That big group of friends who doesn’t smile unless or until the photographer says so. And finally that one person who always gives a weird sound (cheese/heeeeeee/aaaaaahhhh) to make everyone laugh when they take a group pic. After finding all these, I would start laughing at myself as I happen to find me in one of those personalities mentioned above (the one who wide opens mouth for every photo :D)


Speaking of remembrance of good times, but do they change things? Yeah I think so. Looking at my school friend in group photo makes me remember the mischiefs we did. Lunches we had. Classes we bunked. Girls we loved (not together though :P). Birthday parties we celebrated. Movies we watched. And then I go on calling him after many years to get in touch. Looking at my graduation day photo reminds me of how good my friend was to me and how bad it is not to speak with him. And then I go on calling him to reconcile. Looking at my adventure trip photo reminds me of a hot tea we had that morning and consequently the friend whom I had it with. And then I go on calling him to talk about how great that trip and tea were and how we should do that again. Yeah, photos do change things 


Posing for photos is cool. But, I personally think photos should be taken when you are yourself casually. Not ones you pose deliberately for. Photos shouldn’t be taken they should be captured, I would say. They should just capture that moment unknowingly when you blush, smile, laugh, talk, fight, yawn, walk, run, eat, drink, blink, smell, dance, sing, propose, break up, feel etc. It’s because when you look at that photo later, you will get that same feel back with goosebumps. (This applies only when I take photos and not when I pose :D)

I don’t think there are any eligibility criteria to take photos. It’s because there is no such thing called a bad photo. A dark photo with nothing but black may look bad for many but good for some as they may see it a black door which will give light when opened. Just don’t care how the output will be. Just click that little button with your right thumb and that could be your shortest route to heaven. And who knows someday you will share us some photos of heaven 

நான் கவிதைகள்(!) மற்றும் கருத்துகள்(?) என எண்ணும் சிலபல

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மண்டைக்குள்ள வெடி,
மொளச்சுது காதல் செடி.

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வாந்தி வந்தா எடுத்துடு,
காதல் வந்தா பண்ணிடு,
அப்டின்றார் போதி தர்மர்.
-ஒரு தலை காதலன்

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அண்ணாச்சி வர்ற விளம்பரம் டேபிள்மேட்,
நீதான் என்னோட சோல்மேட்.
-ஒரு தலை காதலன்

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உனக்கு மெசேஜ் அனுப்பி பதிலை எதிர்பார்த்து நித்தம் தோற்கிறேன்,

பின்பு அந்த தோல்வியிலேயே சுகம் கண்டு நித்தம் ஜெயிக்கிறேன்.
-ஒரு தலை காதலன்

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காதல் ஒரு இச்சைதான்..
வாழ்நாள் முழுவதும் தொடர வேண்டுமென்ற இச்சை.
-ஒரு தலை காதலன்

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எனக்கு அவளை பிடித்திருகிறது,
ஆனால் அவளுக்கு என்னை பிடிக்கவில்லை,
ஏனனில் காதலின் முதன் முதல் முரண் ஒரு தலை காதலே...!
-ஒரு தலை காதலன்

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நான் உன்னை காதலிப்பதின் காரணத்தை அறிவாயோ..!
நீ அழகானவள் என்பதால் அல்ல..
எனக்கு பெண்மை தேவைப்பட்டது, அதில் நீயே முதன்மையானவளாய் நிற்கிறாய்..
அவ்வளவே..!
-ஒரு தலை காதலன்

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இன்றாவது உன்னை முழுமையாக காதலித்து விடுவேன் என்ற நம்பிக்கையோடே  நித்தம் எழுகிறேன்,
காதலித்து காதலித்து சோர்ந்து தோல்வியோடே நித்தம் தூங்க போகிறேன்,
பின் கனவிலே முடிவில்லா காதல் வானிலே பயணிக்கிறேன்..

அடுத்த நாளை நோக்கி..

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என்னை ஏற்பாய் என நேற்று ஏங்கினேன்,

இன்று ஏங்குகிறேன்,

நாளையும் ஏங்குவேன்,
ஒரு நிமிடம்...
நான் தான் உன்னை கண்ட நொடியிலே உன்னோடு கலந்தேனே..வேறென்ன வேண்டும்?
#ஒரு தலை காதலன்

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தயவு செய்து இனி அவ்வாறு சிரிக்காதே,
கவிதைகளால் நிரம்பியதால், 
என் காதலுக்கு என் மனம் அளித்த வந்த memory space முடிந்து விட்டதாக அறிவித்து விட்டது..
ம்ம்ம்ம்ம்...
வேண்டாம் வேண்டாம்...
நீ சிரித்துவிடு,
நான் external memory யூஸ் செய்து கொள்கிறேன்.
-ஒரு தலை காதலன்

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பேய் மழையாய் பெய்ய இருந்த என் காதலை,

மரத்தின் கீழே நின்று தவிர்க்க பார்த்தாய்,

அம்மரத்தின் இலைநுனி மழையாகவேனும் உன்னை வந்தடைவேன்..

இது சத்தியம்.

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சமையற்காரரின் வீட்டில் மனைவி சமைக்கும் இடத்தில்

அடக்குமுறை திணிக்கப்படுகிறது.

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சொந்த ஊரில் உறவுமுறை குழந்தைகள் அடையாளம் தெரியாத ஏலியனாய் பார்க்கும் இடத்தில்,

பீட்சா சுவையும் சத்யம் தியெட்டர் சந்தோசமும் தூளாகி விடுகின்றன.

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ரோட்ல கெடக்கற குப்பைய எடுத்து போட்டா காந்திசம்..

அதே போட்டவன் கழுத்துல கத்திய வெச்சு த்தா எட்ரானு சொன்னா கம்யுனிசம்.

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மீனு மெரளுது.

தவள தாவுது,

நெஞ்சு நழுவுது,

காதல் கவ்வுது,

மொத்ததுல வாழ்க்க விக்கிக்குது .

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காத்து அடிக்கயில,
உன் கூந்தல் அசைகயில,
என் மனசு எகிறி பறக்கயில,
மூனெழுத்து வார்த்த மண்டைல வெடிக்கைல,
பிறந்தேனடி புதுசா,
உணர்ந்தேனடி முழுசா.

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பார்த்தவுடனே விழுந்தேன்,

நினைத்த போதெல்லாம் பறந்தேன்,

பின்பு உன்னிடம் சொன்னால் விழுவேனோ என பயக்கிறேன்..!

வேண்டாம் உயர பறக்கா விட்டாலும் பறந்து கொண்டாவது இருக்கிறேன்.

#ஒருதலைக்காதல்

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தானா தேடி வரதுக்கு காதல் ஒன்னும் உன் வீட்டுக்கு வர்ற நியூஸ்பேப்பர் இல்ல மச்சி,

அந்த நியூஸ்பேப்பர்ல வர்ற நியூஸ் மாதிரி..தேடித்தான் போகணும்.

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அவள்: என்னை விட்டு சென்று விடுவாயா?
அவன்: ஆம். நான் இறக்கும் பொழுது.உடலால் மட்டுமே

#இரண்டு வரி காதல் கதைகள்

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வானத்துல புல் இருந்தா மானும் பறக்குமாம்,மனுசனும் பரப்பானாம்..

ஆனா எந்த புல்லு இருந்துச்சு யாரு பற ந்தாங்கறதுதான் மச்சி மேட்டரே..!

(Thanks to “Oru Kanniyum moonru alavaanigalum” movie for the inspiration to this)

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பொண்ணு கேரக்டரும் நல்லா இருக்கணும்,

பாக்கறதுக்கும் அழகா இருக்கணும்.

#அப்போ நீ கடைசி வரை சந்நியாசியாதான் இருக்கணும்

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அகத்தின் அழகு முகத்தில் தெரியும் என எனக்கு உணர்த்தியவளே,

என் அகத்தில் அழகாய் வந்து முகம் காமிப்பது எப்போ?

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நாம் கட்டிய அழகிய வீட்டில்,

நாம் குழந்தைகளாய் மாறும் இசை ததும்பும் ஊஞ்சலிலே,

உன் தோல் சாய்ந்து விரல் பிடித்து முத்தமிடுவேன் நீ இல்லாவிட்டாலும்.
-ஒரு தலை காதலன்

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காதல் ஒரு மெலிசான கோடு.

அந்த பக்கம் போனா கல்யாணம்.

இந்த பக்கம் போனா காதல் தோல்வி.

#ஒரு தல காதலன்:கோடே தெரிலபா கொஞ்சம் அழுத்தி போடுங்க

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பசிச்சா சோறு,

பார்ட்டினா பீரு,

உன்ன பாத்தா..

அய்யயோ தாறுமாறு..!

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மயக்கும் கவிதை எழுத எண்ணி பேருந்தின் ஜன்னல் கம்பிகளில் சாய்ந்தேன்,

பின்பு அதை கிழிக்கும் காற்றோடு கலந்தேன்..

இறங்க வேண்டிய இடம் கடந்து விழித்தேன்....

பின்பே உணர்ந்தேன்..

காற்றே கவிதையாய் மாறி என்னை மயக்கியதை..

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நான் தனிமையில் இருப்பது தனிமையை விரும்பி அல்ல..

உன்னோடு இருக்க முடியாத காரணத்தினாலே.

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எந்த புண்ணியமும் செய்யாதனால் நரகமா?

எந்த பாவமும் செய்யாதனால் சொர்க்கமா? 

#குழப்பத்தில் கடவுள்

#கருவறுக்கப்பட்ட குழந்தை!!

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